Dirty John and Debra Newell

On Netflix, the story of Debra Newell and "Dirty John" is told and honestly, she deserves props. It's
difficullt to feel that stupid and still tell the truth. The truth about judging her is that you've either never been through such a thing because you've been lucky enough to not meet someone like John or you have, and you are equipped with knowledge you did not have prior to meeting that person. It can totally be either gender by the way - a woman can be exactly like Dirty John on a whole higher level. You aren't inherently safe because you are a man.

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Here are some tips to consider when dating.

Mirroring is a trick used by people like this. They will love everything you do to appear to be a match made in heaven. Find some obescure topic - the example I use is fourteenth century viking pottery. Learn enough about that topic to go on and on for a brief period of time. If the person is agreeing adamantly they  love it too, test their knowledge and KNOW that this is a red flag because really, what are the odds? Pick any topic -  Irish calligraphy, russian art, etc. whatever it is make sure it's not a popular topic.

Love Bombing According to Wikipedia, Love Bombing is defined as an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and can be used  for either a positive or negative purpose.  You'll know you are being love bombed (or have been) when very slowly and subtley it turns to you can never do anything right. While you were perfect exactly as you were prior, you are now frequently "wrong".

Prior Exes are all crazy. Every single person with whom they have had a relationship is insane. They do this in the event the person contacts you to warn you about this person. They set it up so you will not take what they say as truth. My ex bad mouthed myself to everyone who would listen, especially his new victim. I was married to a narcissist for twenty five years and I can still rattle off things I learned, things I did wrong, etc, even though he was actively abusing me daily. I don't lay the failure of the relationship entirely at his feet. Anyone who does that has basically learned nothing from their own failures.

There are more signs I may add later, but these are fail safe for sure ways to know what is up. Thank you Debra for your brutal honesty about your experience. While difficult, no doubt, it's done wonders for educating women and men about the perils of dating people with personality disorders.